What is Really Holding You Back?

[I know I usually like to talk food on Fridays, but I felt a rant coming on. Here it is. I feel better now. Please feel free to add your thoughts in the comments section.]

She's probably making more than you.

Recently, a friend (my lovely blonde friend) sent me this article that suggested that blondes not only have more fun, but make more money as well. We laughed and thought this would make fun fodder for the blog.

Then a few days later in the Sunday paper, I read an article (in the weddings section) that said women who kept their own last name instead of taking their husband’s name tended to earn more. Hmm. The article didn’t give any explanation why this might be and I wondered how exactly your name could impact your income. Still, I found these seemingly coincidentally related articles more entertaining than anything else.

Then I came across this article that cites a study that concludes childless women are more successful than mothers in the workplace. OK, now I’m just ticked off. I’m a brunette, married mother of three who took my husband’s last name. Is that what’s kept me from being Secretary of State (my childhood dream)? I don’t think so.

While I can certainly see a correlation between certain lifestyle choices that could impact one’s professional choices, I know that our life paths are much more complex then statistical trends might convey. What really has gotten in my craw, however, is that the proliferation of this type of article targets (one might say attacks) the choices women make.

Now to be fair to the guys, the first article I referenced did mention that men would do well to be tall, left-handed and mustachioed. There is also data that suggests men who are married, go to church and drink alcohol (I’m guessing not at the same time), earn more. Ladies, if you want to earn more, you should be pretty, blonde, and drink alcohol – but not too much. Just make sure that doesn't lead to love and marriage and babies.

On the surface these stats are kind of funny, until you realize that they really chip away at a woman’s worth in the workplace as well as in the world. The implication is that we are "falling behind" professionally based on some deeply personal and deliberate decisions.

Shouldn’t we be talking about the education, skills, and experiences that inform a woman’s career choices rather than ascribing outcomes based on hair color or marital status? Shouldn’t we really be talking about why we want what we want, not just how to get more?

What do you think? Is there something holding you back or are you just where you want to be? Do you feel like the choices and tradeoffs you've made have been fair, reasonable, expected?